Intellect may be confused, but emotions never lie
by SageK
Summary: Prompt: Occasionally Anna watches a livefeed of Lisa and Tyler having sex.  What if Joshua had come in one time while Anna was watching?


Humans have a saying: Pride goeth before a fall.

Anna was nothing if not prideful. At some point, she had bought into her own propaganda and began thinking of herself as infallible. In that, was a weakness her enemies could exploit.

Joshua took full advantage of this. Since Anna assumed he was still suffering from the effects of the post-traumatic memory loss and her subsequent brainwashing, he was allowed to go about his life and work without interference. But, the night before, Joshua had been perusing a tablet of research when a headache, the likes of which he had never known, hit him.

He didn't even recall falling, but, hours later, he awoke, sprawled on the floor of his quarters, headache gone. That was a relief, but what was even better was the fact that his memories of his _self _had returned.

Thankful that the flood of information (and the rather undignified sprawl that followed) had happened during his rest period, Joshua staggered to his feet, checked the time and pulled on his uniform. He was due to meet with Anna to discuss the latest development in his soul extraction research.

Soul Extraction. A wonderful expenditure of time and resources, on a project that would never bear fruit. Normally, a futile project that wasted Anna's time and attention was something Joshua would encourage, but this one included a potential death toll that was extremely high.

One had to make sacrifices in a war, but there came a point when one had to ask how much they willing to compromise their own moral code to achieve results. It would take little for him to…skew some results and send the tests in another direction all together.

Though he was often irritated by their inability to keep pace with him, sometimes having a staff that didn't quite understand the work he did was extremely convenient. Especially when he was trying to keep things from them.

Steeling himself, he made certain his expression was carefully blank as he strode down the corridor of the ship. He passed numerous V's and live aboard humans during his trip. Several of the humans, oddly, all young females, gave him waves, after witch they dissolved into fits of giggles when he nodded to acknowledge their greeting. Reviewing his memories of the past several weeks spend in a befuddled haze, he realized they did that daily.

He simply hadn't seen them as worth notice while under the influence of Anna's bliss.

When he reached the doors of Anna's office, he took a deep breath before stepping forward and the motion sensor caused the barrier to slide soundlessly away. Joshua entered the room, pace steady and even,, falling back into the rhythm of subterfuge that had served him well for many years.

A few steps from the desk, he halted, feet planting themselves on the deck as he realized what she was doing. Her chair was turned, facing one of the screens and Anna was studying the images intently.

It was only through years of practice that he managed to maintain his neutral expression.

Anna was watching a live feed of Lisa and Tyler Evens engaging in intercourse. There was a lot of pale skin visible and grunting audible as the boy moved atop Lisa, who, in Joshua's opinion, seemed rather indifferent to the boy's rutting.

Tearing his eyes from the screen, he fixed them on a point on the wall as Anna turned her chair, unconcerned by the images that continued to play out on the screen behind her. She regarded Joshua coolly and extended a hand. "You have the report I requested.

It wasn't a question.

"Of course, my queen," he replied, placing the data tablet in her hand and returning to his stance of relaxed attention, hands clasped behind his back. Which was fortunate, as he found his fingers balling into fists as the soundtrack of flesh on flesh and masculine noises of pleasure filled the air. Lisa was silent and he felt a rush of indignation on her behalf at Anna's thoughtless violation of her privacy. It was terribly wrong and he felt frustrated by his inability to act in her defense.

Looking up from the data, Anna asked, "You believe additional research is required before the next phase of testing?"

He inclined his head politely. "While information is available digitally, there is much more only found in hard copy. Books and documents. Postulation and data gathered by centuries of scientists and philosophers."

Anna considered this, then nodded, dropping the tablet onto her desk. She turned away from him, redirecting her gaze to the screen.

Behind his back, Joshua felt his blunt nails dig into his palms as Tyler began making an odd, keening noise and his movements became even more erratic. Finally, he let out a yelp and collapsed atop Lisa, gasping and panting. She patted his back, but her expression was blank. Clearly she hadn't enjoyed herself as the boy had.

Which was just as well, since Anna was watching, seemingly pleased by what she was witnessing. Joshua thought that he might greatly enjoy stuffing the boy into a launch tube a jettisoning him into a nearby sun. Initially, Tyler had been instrumental in helping Lisa access her feelings, but it seemed that her fond feelings for him did not extend to the bedroom.

"You've only been down to the surface once," Anna said, watching Tyler roll onto his side, smiling goofily.

The sudden sight of so much more of Lisa, of creamy skin and flush pink nipples, even caught out of the corner of his eye, nearly made him fumble his response. "That is what I'm told."

Their outer skins were not the ones they were born with, but those of Lisa and Tyler's generation had spent the vast majority of their lives with soft, human skin. Removing it would cause their death, so he often wondered, what was his true face? Her true face?

In theory, he knew the sight of an undulating tail and the ripple of nearly opalescent green scales should evoke a biological response from him. He'd never had the occasion to find out, but he knew pink skin and the curve of a breast should have no effect on him. Yet Lisa's had.

Therein lay yet another layer of complexity to existence of a V in human skin.

"Have Lisa take you to whichever library you think will be most useful," Anna said, losing interest now that the act of copulation had ended. "Marcus and I must prepare for our meeting on the Rome ship."

He wanted to question her, but that would be seen as inappropriate, so he simply nodded.

"You may go." She dismissed him and he inclined his head, unclenching his fists as he exited.

Normally, Joshua did not consider himself a violent man. Sure, he knew action was a part of any war and he was willing to fight and even kill for a cause…but what he was feeling at this moment in time was new.

He really, really wanted to find Tyler and punch him in the face. Repeatedly.

* * *

His first stop after leaving Anna's office was the small room off of the medical bay, where Ryan Nichols daughter was being kept. The child was in her small pen, listless and cranky looking. The disorder Anna had ordered him to afflict upon the child caused her pain and suffering, which Anna alleviated somewhat with her Bliss when she needed to use the girl to control Ryan.

There was no way to safely sneak the child from the ship, but in minutes Joshua was able to undo the damage he'd done to the girl. Immediately, some of the tension in her tiny body eased and her readings stabilized on the monitors.

That was easy enough to deal with.

He'd had much practice manipulating computers and he quickly set up a phantom program to manipulate the readings. He needed to maintain the illusion that she was still ill.

As he finished, he looked down at the chubby cheeked baby, who blinked up at him with big dark eyes and waved a pudgy, little hand in the air.

V younglings of higher castes did not have interaction with adults of the species, not until they were several years old and able to leave the spawning pools. Then they received their skins and were remanded to the 'care' of attendants and instructors. There were no hugs, pats on the back or the other signs of affection humans seemed to shower on their children.

Their research said the physical contact was beneficial to the child's development, both physically and emotionally.

Impulsively, Joshua reached down and lifted the girl into his arms, supporting her against his chest, as he had seen humans do. Alone in the room, he chanced speaking softly. "Hello," he said to the girl, who seemed happy enough, grabbing at his lab coat and burbling. "I am very sorry for what I did to you. I was not in my right mind, but from now on I will attempt to keep you from harm."

She could not begin to understand him, but he felt compelled to apologize for his actions. He kept his tone light, as it seemed that small humans and animals alike reacted more to the sound of a voice than actual words. And the baby was half human…she even had a human face.

"I don't know what your mother and father intended to call you, but you should have a name. Would Val be acceptable? She was your mother and loved you very much."

The baby had no opinion, but Joshua had never been in the position to name another living creature before and found himself at a loss. Having the baby carry on her mother's name seemed to be a fitting tribute.

For a few moments longer, he paced the room, little Val content in his arms. She seemed pleased by the attention and her little fingers wrapped themselves around the neckline of his shirt, holding on as her head settles on his shoulder. Her soft hair tickled the side of his neck and, as her breathing slowed and evened out, he realized she'd fallen asleep.

Even with Anna's bliss, Val hadn't been sleeping well, a side effect of the affliction Joshua had given her. It was one of many that would have filled Anna's request, actually the least painful and aggressive. He recalled thinking it exceedingly foolish to purposefully injure a hybrid child. Not for any sentimental reason, but because it would be best to study the child with as little outside influence as possible.

Cold and clinical as it might have been, Joshua was glad he'd had the impulse.

Gently, so as not to wake Val, he laid the bay on a cushion in her pen, tucking the blanket around her small body. He patted her back, then composed himself and exited the nursery.

His intent to find Lisa was cut short as he encountered her only moments after leaving the infirmary. When he stopped before her, she said, "Hello, Joshua."

She sounded tired and he felt a stab of guilt. Lisa had barely had time to acclimate to the idea of being Fifth Column when she found herself their lone, functional presence on the mother ship. Between that, her mother's assignments and the fact that her own body was confusing her as her breeding skin had probably begun appearing by now, he knew she had to be feeling over taxed.

"Lisa," he said, keeping up a front of neutrality, as they were in a public area. "Your mother has tasked me with an assignment planetside and she wishes you to accompany me. There are libraries my research requires I visit."

She nodded. "Of course. I recommend you visit the quartermaster. Your uniform is quite conspicuous."

He had intended that to be his next stop, so he nodded. "I will do that."

"I'll see you shortly then."

With that, Lisa set off, probably to change into her own Earth attire. Joshua didn't have any non V attire, but, upon passing his request to the quartermaster, a pile of clothing was pressed into his hands.

In his quarters, he shed his uniform, the loose jacket and comfortable, grey pants, shirt and rubber soled shoes, the only things he had worn for years. After a moment of contemplation, he figured out that the small, white cotton shorts went on underneath the denim trousers. The heavy brown boots felt surprisingly comfortable given their weight. The shirt was reassuringly simple, again white cotton, and he tugged it over his head before shrugging into the jacket, some kind of dark brown, treated animal hide.

He'd taken slightly longer than he had intended to figure out the clothing and the chime at the door startled him. "Enter," he called out and the doors parted to admit Lisa.

She looked him over, taking in his attire and nodding. Pointing to the four buttons, oddly placed only on the upper part of the shirt, she said, "Undo one or two of those and muss your hair."

Blinking, he brought a tentative hand to his head and pushed the short hair around. He wasn't sure what she hoped he'd achieve, but clearly he was not succeeding.

With a sigh, she said, "Let me."

Before he could react, she buried her hands in his hair, creating what he was sure to be a disarrayed mess. "Lisa!" he said, surprised, and her eyes, focused above his hairline, snapped down to meet his.

They were standing there, very close, and her hands were frozen on his head. Neither of them breathed for a moment, before she took a breath and asked, tentatively, "Joshua?"

The corners of his mouth crept up into a smile. "Yes…I remember."

"Oh!" Air left her lungs in a whoosh as her hands fell from his hair to grip his shoulders and he grasped her elbows. A smile lit her face and she managed to rally to ask, "How?…When?…I am glad you're back."

"As am I," he assured her, enjoying the feel of her standing in her personal space. The heat of her body, the smell of her hair…It was possibly the closest he'd ever been to another living creature.

Something in his head noted, sounding rather pleased, that Lisa looked far happier standing with him than she had with Tyler earlier. Her eyes were bright, smile real and she seemed alive and involved.

He'd thought that humans viewed sex as a form of joyous connection between two people. Though Tyler had seemed to enjoy himself, Lisa had been joy free.

Of course, V sexual contact was something entirely different, only done for the purpose of procreation…after which the male would be devoured.

In these skins though, it seemed that it was possible for a male V to enjoy a more human experience with a woman. The scientist in him wondered if the same could be said of female V's….

"We should go," Lisa, not yet looking away from his eyes. He noted a slight dilation of her pupils and a pretty flush to her cheeks. "The shuttle will be leaving soon."

She was right of course. Now was not the time to indulge in emotional impulses, no matter how much he wanted to touch her, brush a finger over the curve of her cheek. A step closer and he'd be able to feel her breath on his neck…

Shaking his head and blinking, Joshua stepped back, breaking the odd spell between them. "Shall we?" he asked, extending a hand to the door for her to lead.

He followed her at a respectful distance, working hard to keep the smile off his face. Anna wasn't going to know what hit her!

TBC….

* * *

Comments, pretty please?


End file.
